The Hidden Impact of “But”: Transform Your Life by Rewriting Your Inner Dialogue

Hi Reader,

We had a delightful visitor to a tree adjacent to our AirBnb this week, I’m still in Costa Rica. A three toed sloth hung out in the tree for a few days it was such a treat to see him so close.

green trees on brown mountain beside blue sea during daytime

There is so much to see and do here making a choice can be challenging! I start a writing retreat tomorrow , which limits the choices and creates a whole new environment. I was reminded of the power of language and how it can have a big impact on how we experience life.

It seems like an innocent little conjunction, three little letters can’t really have that much power…..or can they?

‘But’ is most often used as a way to exclude something or introduce doubt. It presents an either-or situation. Example: I want dessert but it’s too many calories. As if the only option is to eat a high-calorie treat or nothing at all, no compromise, no middle ground. There is a sense of choice being minimized or taken away, of something outside of us being in charge.

Then there are the subconscious ‘buts’ that so often silently hold us back from our dreams and goals. They create resistance. These ‘buts’ are tied to a belief system, unearthing them is a gift of discovery and healing.

When the belief system and the silent ‘buts’ are brought out from the shadows, the opportunity to heal a pattern that has been essentially putting the brakes on moving toward dreams and goals can be released.

The monkey chatter in your mind is riddled with this quicksand. Try uncovering a few by trying this. When thinking of a something you want to change add ‘but’ after you write or state itl and a river of subconscious blocks will come tumbling forth.

Example: I want a successful business…. but it will take too much time, …but I’m not really business-minded etc.

The ‘buts’ reveal opposing energy that keeps you stuck. Consciously changing the language you use can start to shift the energy. Repeating your new self-talk, reinforces and anchors the new energy creating new neuropathways and new energy patterns. This can help you move forward and get into flow with what you’re wanting to change or create.

There is power in the language that you use both internally and externally, even a small change can produce significant results.

Example: I want dessert and I’m committed to cutting back on sugar. This honors your commitment to yourself to cut down on sugar and help build resilience by delaying gratification. It opens the door for alternate possibilities, say half a serving or an alternative.

I want a successful business and I can define success on my terms. This empowers you to do it your own unique way. Both the examples are a more expansive language that allows room for possibility, compromise, and creative ‘out of the box’ solutions. Instead of shutting down in an either-or situation it opens up the flow for opportunity.

Using ‘but’ as an excluder creates a buffer zone that may make it feel easier to say no or avoid risk. In reality, it creates distance from your authenticity and congruency. This can become a significant energy drain keeping dreams and goals at bay.

You might want to try this little experiment, be very aware of your wording and each time you use the word ‘but’ rephrase it to a more expansive form, just like the examples above. When I did this a couple of weeks ago I was very surprised at the number of times I shut myself down. I was working on a creative project that seemed to have more snags and speed bumps than forward motion, by the end of my ‘butless’ week I had shifted some major energy and was near completing the project.

Be Well,

Cathy