It’s been a stormy weekend, perfect for tucking in with a good book and a cup of tea. I’m reading Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. She has a way of making her characters come to life.
I also find myself distracted by social media and a plethora of advertisements. 🤪
I’m not sure about you, but I can get distracted by BSOS (bright shiny object syndrome) or FOMO (fear of missing out) and make bad choices. Ones that aren’t based on my goals and dreams but on some other person’s ability to hijack my amygdala to persuade me their thing is the hot diggity dog and life will be oh so much better if I bought it.
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This is particularly true when I’m not clear about what it is I’m wanting to create. Often, we get so caught up in the day-to-day stuff that we don’t take the time to slow down and connect with our desires to see what we want to create in our lives. It makes it easy to get swept up in the urgency of others desires or lean into what we think we should do (based on external sources rather than our own inner compass)
These 6 questions help me when I feel like I’m getting sidetracked with BSOS or FOMO.
What is my primary focus right now? By identifying what is most important to you in this season of your life, you can cut through the seductive swirl of the program, class, or product you’re thinking of buying or spending time on.
Does this ‘thing’ hurt or help me, given my primary focus? This can help identify the support or distraction that the ‘thing’ offers. While a shiny new pair of shoes feels good in the moment, does it support your primary focus of building your savings account? Does the new class support your primary focus on building community and having fun activities, or is it a distraction from that?
What do I need to let go of to make room for the BSO? When adding something new into the mix, it means there has to be space for it. That might be space in your schedule to complete assignments, space in the closet for the new shoes, or space in the budget to purchase.
Are you willing to give up your weekly date with your friends? Will you re-home a pair of shoes in your closet? Are you okay with giving up lunches out to save money? The willingness to make room for something is a key indicator. If the desire for the BSO isn’t strong enough to make room for it, what is it providing balm for? Look at the underlying need you think it’s filling.
What will I gain from this BSOS? Looking at your focus area, how does this ‘thing’ move the needle with your focus area? A new job could help you increase cash flow, increase meaning and purpose, learn a new skill or hone an existing one. A class might increase your life satisfaction, further your career, or expand your social circle. Identifying what you’re gaining helps filter out the FOMO. Even if it feels like a good fit, make sure it’s a good fit for right now.
How does it feel energetically? Close your eyes and just feel what the BSOS holds for you energetically. You can also muscle test this (see previous blog post). Try not to think into this and get your mind all twisted up. Just let yourself tune in energetically – if you’re new to this, it’s okay to test it out and lean on the other questions for confirmation. ( If you’re curious, check out the Energetic Blueprint workshop on Tuesday. We will be doing some muscle testing and some NLP for decisions as well as some WebWork)
What does your intuition say? Oftentimes, our gut is saying, “Back away from the BSOS,” and we try hard to ignore it because we don’t want to miss out or we’re getting a “Hell yes, go for it” but we’re afraid to go for it. Quiet your mind and pay attention to your body cues – the butterflies, tense neck, etc.
If fear is a factor, perhaps even a big factor, watch for next week’s post about how fear can snowball and keep you stuck.
Life is full of uncertainty.
Questioning every decision or having buyer’s remorse is exhausting.
Learning to tune in to the subtle cues from your intuition and being aware of the season you are currently in helps to free up some of that energy for other things.