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Hi Reader,

I’m writing this from a writing conference in Santa Fe, NM, it’s a lovely community with adobe structures and lots of beautiful art. I’ve had the pleasure of attending an intensive with Alext Elle, and last night’s keynote speaker was Anne Lamott. They were inspiring and had practical, actionable advice to offer.


As an introvert, I need to make sure I spend enough time decompressing and filling my cup. If I don’t take that time, it’s easy to become reactionary.


One of the writing prompts today was “When I am my best self….then define the answer.” part of my answer revolved around being in the space to respond rather than react, so I thought I would share what that means for me.


Each day, we choose how to spend our precious 24 hours interacting with the world around us. This is most often a subconscious act rather than a conscious one. Consciously choosing influences how we will influence and be affected by both everyday events as well as those that are much more extraordinary. This is particularly true in times of change and transition.


Most of us unconsciously react, but we can choose to respond instead. These are not the same. One comes from a place of personal power, and the other from the place of the victim.

Reacting to outside influences implies that we have given charge of the situation to someone or something else. We surrender our input and any control in the matter, giving us the sense that we are constantly dodging bullets and expending significant amounts of energy just to stay afloat.

Responding to a situation is a proactive choice, coming from a place of personal power that says, “I get to choose.”


Responding is preceded by checking in and detaching from the external stimulus because, after all, what other people think of us is really none of our business. (I know it is far easier said than done.)


In responding, we claim our power and have command over how the situation impacts us. It comes from a grounded place where we are connected to our own values. It also mitigates how the event affects us internally. That’s not to say it’s always easy; sometimes, our reactions spurt up spontaneously.


So what is the difference?

REACT RESPOND

Tunnel Vision Big Picture

Knee-jerk Considered

Vindictive Calm

I win No one loses

Rushed Poised

Stuck in a Rut Creative/Expansive

Quick fix Heal

Few options Infinite Possibilities


Taking a deep breath and choosing how you want to respond decreases the charge in the situation, allowing you to align with your personal power. Staying mindful of being grounded and centered can help to create the space for response.



Do you have tools that help you to respond vs. react? Hit reply and let me know


Be Well,

Cathy


P.S. If you’re looking for more articles, visit me over at Medium

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