A woman sitting in an outdoor café, a light breeze ruffles her hair, the sun warms her shoulders, and she is enjoying watching the people as they go by. The waitress approaches and asks her what she would like to order. The woman’s forehead furrows, her foot begins to tap, and her shoulders inch toward her ears. She thinks ‘what if I get it wrong’. She tells the waitress I’ll have whatever you have hanging around.
Sounds pretty ludicrous but for many this is how we go about life. Never really defining or asking for what we want or need. Instead of choosing we accept the default or what’s left over. It takes a little bit of re-training and effort but consciously choosing can become your default mindset.
Years ago, when my 4 children were still young, I struggled to get everything done. I often felt spread so thin that I didn’t do anything well. I loved my job and my family needed my income. I was in management and was told by many other that’s just the way it is working part-time was not an option. It simply didn’t make sense to me I knew I could get my work done in 3 or 4 days and support my team. I proposed a compressed work week four 10-hour days or three 12-hour days to my boss and was denied. He told me a colleague had just proposed a similar schedule and had been declined. I shifted gears and asked about cutting back to 32 hours and he approved a 3-month trial. The trial worked and became permanent. When I was promoted a year later, I successfully negotiated for a 3-day work week.
Part of why this was successful for me was my mindset. I truly believed it was not only possible but probable. When I encountered an obstacle, I regrouped and consciously moved forward. At the time part of my process was to journal about the ‘what’ and ‘why’ of the obstacle then create affirmations to anchor my choice in place.
The power of your thoughts is significant. A research study done in 1991 on the effect of belief in premature death researchers followed 72 subjects with similar health histories, half of whom believed that because they had a family history of death at a specific age that meant their life trajectory would be the same. The other half believed they could alter their life trajectory. More than 80% of the subjects with the mindset of predetermined life expectancy did indeed pass away within 1 year of when they believed they would. Only 18% of those who believed they could alter their life expectancy passed away prematurely.
This is a powerful reminder that mindset does matter. The thoughts you have are impactful. Consciously choosing what you want and need, while not as simple as ordering a burger off of the restaurant menu, has an effect on the life you create. Try taking a few minutes each morning for the next week to choose what you want in your day, joy, focus, fun, and begin to build your conscious mindset. You might be pleasantly surprised.
Namaste’
Be Well,
Cathy
P.S. If you’re looking for some tools to help you improve your mindset, energy, and stress level check out the new Mind-Body toolkit here
PPS Research study I spoke of is here