We’ve all been there, stuck between choices, wishing for a neon sign pointing to the right answer. That deep sigh? It’s an indicator that you’re craving clarity.
Clarity is one of the most sought-after feelings in life. We look for it in books, courses, and other people’s opinions. We stall, procrastinate, or worry about making the wrong choice, thinking, If I just knew what the right thing to do was, it would be easy.
The truth is, you already know. You have just forgotten how to decipher it.
One of the first things I work on with a new client is the concept of values. Sometimes I get eye rolls, but almost everyone has an “aha” moment when they do this exercise.
A value is an inner compass, something you naturally move toward without needing outside prompts. It can be a behavior, an activity, or a way of being that feels deeply right to you.
Values are unique to each person. They are often confused with wants or needs because some things can be all three. Here’s a quick way to tell the difference:
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Need: Urgent, necessary for well-being
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Want: Desired, craved, nice to have
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Value: Innate pull, guiding force
Why This Matters
Identifying your values helps you make choices that align with who you are, creating more flow, ease, and authenticity in daily life.
Finding Your Top 3–5 Values
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Center yourself: Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and let your mind settle.
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Review the list: Read through the values list below and cross out any that do not resonate.
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Add your own: Write down any that come to mind but are not on the list.
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Circle favorites: Highlight the words that spark a sense of “yes” in your body.
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Use the litmus test: Check each circled value against the need/want/value definitions above.
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Narrow your list: Repeat until you have your top three to five.
Values List
This list is not exhaustive, feel free to add your own.
Adventure Love Facilitate Feel Good
Experiment Encourage Learn Discover
Accomplish Enlighten Teach Be Amused
Lead Rule Inspire Influence
Be the best Support Set Standards Be Connected
Be part of family Be Devoted Attain Be part of a community
Nurture Model Serve Foster
Create Beauty Energize Contribute Embody Elegance
Improve Stimulate Be Original Learn
Feel Coach Spark Thrill
Alter Build Plan Be Passionate
Unite Realize Provide Express Tenderness
Win Have Fun Observe Speculation
Using Your Values Every Day
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As a filter: Keep your values written on an index card. When faced with a decision, ask, “Does this honor my values?”
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As a check-in: Look for ways you are expressing (or neglecting) your values in daily life. If “Nurture” is a value, are you giving and receiving it?
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As inspiration: Brainstorm new ways to live out your values. If “Adventure” is a value, try a new activity this month.
As you work with your values, notice how your choices shift. Patterns will emerge, guiding you toward a life that feels more aligned and less like guesswork.
When you know your values it gives you somthing to center with, to align with and from here the path clears, and you can see the next step.
What’s one value guiding you right now? I would love to hear from you.