Up, Down, and Sideways Life in a Pandemic

Today I started my day with a good cry. I was feeling overwhelmed, sad, angry, and frustrated. I had just read an article about the vast number of personal protective equipment that the federal government has and still is shipping overseas. Yesterday at work I watched healthcare leaders try to reassure frontline staff that they were securing ppe (personal protective equipment) and rationing equipment was a safety measure. I saw the fear in the eyes of frontline healthcare providers as they wondered if there would come a moment when there wouldn’t be enough ppe and they would have to choose between caring for the sick and personal safety. The choice many have already had to make.

I am angry that our federal leadership can’t get their shit together and coordinate a clear cohesive response to this pandemic. The posturing, misinformation, and inefficiencies ate up valuable time. Securing supplies for those on the frontline should be a top priority. Why do we not have a plan to test for immunity tied into a national database to identify patterns and help steer our plan going forward?

I’m sad that frontline workers aren’t sure they can trust what they are being told or that supplies will be provided for them. As a nurse, I am trained to take care of those that need care while following infection control protocols to protect my patients as well as myself. Those protocols evolve over time based on scientific evidence. Currently, protocols are being adjusted but there is uncertainty whether those changes are based in science or based on the scarcity of supplies. This distrust and uncertainty can affect the care being provided.

I’m not one to sit and stew in a mood. I feel the feelings and find my way to move through it. Today that came in the form of a message from my friend Nicole. She sent me a text with a link to a Go Fund Me for an engineer who was using his 3D printer to make face shields for healthcare workers (along with an elephant video that made me smile). It made me remember there is a lot of good happening. The governor of California responded quickly and there seems to be a flattening of the curve, which helps us to better care for those who need it. There are many stories of neighbors helping others with groceries, creating fun games for kids like #BearHunt as they walk the neighborhood while social distancing, and small businesses like Smith & Vandiver shifting their processes to provide needed hand sanitizer for the local community and donating it to the local police department.

We can move through this not only in quarantine but also in isolation or we can join together and ease the fear and anxiety reminding each other that there is hope and a lot of human kindness out there. So what I’m asking all of you is to share your stories, acts of kindness, silver linings, unexpected sources of strength or inspiration, or someone you want to acknowledge. Share below, Facebook, email, or Instagram