On my morning walk with Jake this morning I noticed the wildflowers blooming along the fence where last year there had been just dirt. A little further down the trail, there was an abandoned shopping cart with some garbage around it that hadn’t been there earlier in the week. Changes some positive some not, are inevitable. How we respond to change and the choices we make shape our experience. As the world around us is experiencing unprecedented change we can only control our response. Our response does impact others, by staying home and practicing social distancing we help ourselves and also aid in the greater good by slowing virus spread.
It’s also a time to reflect on life. What’s working and what isn’t. What is it that we do want and how can we move toward that.
I listened to a podcast a while back (try as I might I cannot remember which one) the woman being interviewed was a researcher who studies women and desire. She talked about women being neurologically wired for connection. It’s basically in our DNA to create community.
What was fascinating was her research showed that a woman’s greatest vulnerability is autonomy. A woman is most vulnerable when she is standing by herself for herself free from external control or influence.
This struck me very deeply as a truth. In my own process of navigating change and sorting through what my next chapter(s) would be I often have an inordinate amount of concern around how my actions will affect everyone else, my ex, my family, friends, clients, and colleagues. I have to consciously slow down and remind myself to focus on what I truly want. It’s then that clarity and certainty start to bubble up.
Peeling back the layers of what others want and expect and what you truly want takes some time, work and a lot of self-exploration. It can be scary, exhilarating, fun, sad, and enlightening. Once you have clarity on what you want the beginning action steps start to show up. As you move forward navigate the experience using your inner guidance as true north and work with your core support network to create the space to flourish.
There is a lot to be said on this subject and this article touches the surface only. Change is uncertain whether it’s a change in job, a change in relationship, living situation, or health. The unknown can be scary and intimidating. The innate urge to foster connection and community can make it even more difficult to get to the core of what the right choice for you is. Diving deep into your own wants and desires helps model for others how to do that too.
I have a core belief that when a person tunes in to their own inner guidance and is aligned with their truth they can positively impact so many more people. Being in community and of service does not mean we give up our own wants and needs. There are many creative ways to do both.
Here are the top 3 things that help navigate change:
Learn to Trust Yourself – sounds silly but the truth is for most of us we’ve been thinking of other peoples needs and listening to other’s version of who and what we should be for so long we’ve turned the volume down on our own inner guidance. Trust that the pull you feel to nourish your soul and each step that unfolds in that direction is a celebration for you and for your community.
Feel What You Need to Feel – It’s messy and uncomfortable and absolutely necessary. And, specifically for women, we need to know – anger is okay; really it is, there are healthy ways to express it. Bottling it up, squashing it down, and pretending it doesn’t exist is a recipe for unhappiness, health issues, and staying stuck.
Stretch Yourself – try new things, test new ideas, step outside your comfort zone …even a little bit to help you grow and expand into the woman your longing to become.
Know you are not alone millions of women reach crossroads and choose where they want to go, then they do it, again and again, creating their own unique path.
I believe in you.
I believe in your immense desire.
I believe in your amazing possibility.
Today do 1 thing that celebrates that spark inside of you and share it in the comments below.