As the holidays roll around, the idea of perfection pops up. The picture-perfect holiday, whatever that image is in your head, is rarely achievable. Often it just causes us worry and stress. What if we just embraced a perfectly imperfect holiday season?
According to Berne Brown, perfectionism is other-focused, based in what others will think. The desire to be perceived as perfect is a shield for the fear of feeling shamed, blamed, and judged. The irony is that wherever perfectionism exists, shame is always lurking.
I have spent a good amount of my life alternating between pushing against perfectionism and using it as a shield. I am a recovering perfectionist 😉 This is what I know to be true.
1) In any given moment, each of us is doing the best that we can – and sometimes that doesn’t look pretty. And that’s ok. Remembering this when someone is crabby or I’m feeling judgy around something I’ve done (or not done, as the case may be) gives me peace.
2) Feeling good is important – happiness is a choice, actually a million little choices that reap huge rewards. Doing things that feel good, taking time to appreciate a scent or a kindness generates more of the same.
3) In order to serve others, your cup must be full – whether you’re listening to a friend, helping a child, or serving a cause. If you are depleted, you’re giving from a place of lack and that doesn’t serve anyone. Check how full your cup is regularly and refill as needed(See #2)
4) Make your own rules – creating success on your own terms is so much more satisfying. You get to create your own rules when you honor your own values. I have a little process I use to help me get to the core of success. I’ll share it in a future newsletter.
5) Be who you are – no one else can be you; no one else has the authority to tell you who to be. Embrace your imperfections, express who you are, and make choices that feel really good to you.
What’s your favorite holiday tradition? Hit reply and let me know
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